tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36157470217535865122024-02-08T05:20:35.214-08:00Those Bittersweet Dayselizahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13868430816675532037noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615747021753586512.post-26877962583295877162010-01-29T23:11:00.000-08:002010-01-29T23:15:26.561-08:00My Wicca II – From Agnosticism, Atheism, to Wicca.<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5Celiza%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:usefelayout/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:"MS Mincho"; panose-1:2 2 6 9 4 2 5 8 3 4; mso-font-alt:"MS 明朝"; mso-font-charset:128; mso-generic-font-family:modern; mso-font-pitch:fixed; mso-font-signature:-1610612033 1757936891 16 0 131231 0;} @font-face {font-family:"\@MS Mincho"; panose-1:2 2 6 9 4 2 5 8 3 4; mso-font-charset:128; mso-generic-font-family:modern; mso-font-pitch:fixed; mso-font-signature:-1610612033 1757936891 16 0 131231 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"MS Mincho";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">Once upon a time, I considered myself agnostic.<span style=""> </span>It was completely logical to me, and in a sense it still is.<span style=""> </span>As a human, it really is impossible to know exactly what lies beyond our little mortal bubbles.<span style=""> </span>No matter what “experiences” or “miracles” you’ve been through or witnessed, there just isn’t enough proof either way (to date) to confirm or deny the existence of a deity.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><p><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="">It’s dark and cloudy outside.<span style=""> </span>I look at the ground and the sidewalk is wet.<span style=""> </span>It <b style="">must have</b> rained.</i></p>
<br /> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">It was that kind of narrow, black and white thinking that I just couldn’t get behind.<span style=""> </span>I was the one who always double checked for a leaking hose or broken fire hydrant before deciding the cause of the wet sidewalk.<span style=""> </span>And until I found that hose or that hydrant, or until the sky began to downpour, my answers always had some wiggle room.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> <p><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="">It’s dark and cloudy outside.<span style=""> </span>I look at the ground and the sidewalk is wet.<span style=""> </span>It <b style="">may have</b> rained.</i></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /><i style=""><o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style=""><o:p> </o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal">That is a logical and probable conclusion, but not a definite one, and so it is left open to change as new information is gathered.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"> <p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">However, even as I considered myself agnostic, I always leaned more towards atheism.<span style=""> </span>I understood that their position could be considered as narrow as those who unquestioningly believe in a deity, but it felt more right to me and the connotation of that title fit me and my ideas of the world better.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> <p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Words and titles have power, and so by associating certain ones with yourself, you’re accepting the implications that they carry.<span style=""> </span>By considering myself agnostic, I had also left the door open for soul-savers from every-which direction to consider me simply as a poor, unguided sheep in need for a compassionate, understanding Shepard.<span style=""> </span>It also came off as a fence sitting position, playing both sides, or just as me being uninterested in all the ideas and debates of theology all together; none of which were the case.<span style=""> </span>I can’t tell you how many times I got onto this topic with someone and had them roll their eyes, saying in a sense, “well you haven’t really decided what you believe yet, therefore your position and the points you make are completely invalid.”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> <p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">And so, I fell into my new, much more defendable position as an atheist.<span style=""> </span>With it, I simultaneously shut down the would-be soul-savers (for the most part, there will always be a lunatic out there who just doesn’t get it); my intuition felt more comfortable, and I had a stronger foot hold for getting my position across to others.<span style=""> </span>I had a more real, more mature point of view then.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> <p><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I believed, and still do, that people generally aren’t comfortable knowing that they are utterly insignificant to the universe.<span style=""> </span>To think that what we do, what happens to us, where we came from, where we are going actually doesn’t matter to anyone or anything outside of your immediate group of family, friends, and acquaintances is a chilling one, one that most just can’t wrap their minds around.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> <p><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">In response to that discomfort, the ultimate parental figure had to be born.<span style=""> </span>God cares about everyone; he has a plan just for you, and if you just trust him, you will be rewarded with not only a meaningful life, but with an executive suite in the clouds afterwards.<span style=""> </span>If you don’t, well, he can forgive you (it’s never too late!), or if you’re just a complete dick your whole life, then no clouds for you!<span style=""> </span>Instead, you’ll be thrust into a deep, dark burning pit of torture and agony for eternity as punishment.<span style=""> </span>THAT’S something I can really get behind.<span style=""> </span>Holy bribery, Batman!</p><p class="MsoNormal"> <p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">But alas!<span style=""> </span>Despite atheism covering most of what I believed in (or, didn’t believe in, I suppose), there were a couple of things that my intuition was guiding me towards that atheism completely rejected.<span style=""> </span>Like the paranormal, some forms of divination, astrology, some subtle psychic abilities, as well as the heavy influence and the deep connection we have with nature.<span style=""> </span>Another problem was my belief in magic as defined in Scott Cunningham’s book as “the projection of natural energies to produce needed effects”.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> <p><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">On top if it’s rejection of those ideas, being an atheist carried a very snobby, pretentious connotation to it; a high-nosed sense of superiority that wasn’t at all in line with my nature.<span style=""> </span>Try reading the “God Delusion” by Dawkins, I dare you.<span style=""> </span>The guy is absolutely brilliant and makes some amazing points, but he will fuck you stupid with his use of language.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> <p><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The transition from there to Wicca came easily.<span style=""> </span>All of the details of that, the hows and the whys, I’ll be addressing in great (if not nauseating) detail in the (near?) future.<span style=""> </span>But all that really matters is that I’ve never been this genuinely comfortable and happy before.<span style=""> </span>It’s just so right for me.<span style=""> </span>Even if I turn out to be completely wrong, following something that clicks so perfectly can’t be a bad thing, no matter what (if anything) is out there judging.<span style=""> </span></p> elizahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13868430816675532037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615747021753586512.post-39829429249202256212010-01-25T20:04:00.000-08:002010-01-25T21:37:08.528-08:00My Wicca I - ReincarnationI want to dedicate a part of this journal to my thoughts and experiences with Wicca, and probably with just anything that huddles under the ambiguous pagan umbrella. Inspired and motivated by Scott Cunningham's books, my reservations in finally considering myself Wiccan, and developing a personal version of Wicca that suits me as a solitary and mostly self-taught practitioner, have vanished.<br /><div style="text-align: center;">------------------<br /><br /></div>Fresh in my head, I just finished up Cunningham's chapter on the idea of reincarnation. Boiling it down a bit, it's goal is perfection, and when that goal is reached (through however many lifetimes your particular soul requires), you become a part of the purest energy, that of the Goddess and the God. Right there, right off the bat, I completely disagree.<br /><br />In everything I've read so far, most Wicca seem to agree that the Goddess and God are not so much individual conscious deities, but aspects of one all encompassing energy. The perfect, and the imperfect all at once. Their energy, the one energy, is everything and everyone. We are already part of them.<br /><br />To me, that widely accepted idea of reincarnation is as fanciful and as illogical as the idea of a heaven and a hell. It is just another cushion against the hard truth of our mortality and the inevitability of our deaths.<br /><br />However, I do, to a degree, believe in reincarnation. But the version I accept is nothing like it's popular format. Mufasa explained it best:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Mufasa:</span> Everything you see exists together in a delicate balance. As king, you need to understand that balance and respect all the creatures, from the crawling ant to the leaping antelope. <br /> <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001795/"></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">Young Simba:</span> But, Dad, don't we eat the antelope?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Mufasa:</span> Yes, Simba, but let me explain. When we die, our bodies become the grass, and the antelope eat the grass. And so we are all connnected in the great Circle of Life.<br /><br />When we die, we are returned to nature. In that way, we are reborn. Bits and pieces of our energies, both biological and metaphysical, simply flow back into the countless different aspects of nature. Whether any consciousness and knowledge of your past life is retained is completely debatable. Energy cannot be destroyed, but it can be changed and manipulated, and perhaps even imprinted on; perhaps that is how ghosts and the paranormal, or glimpses into past lives are explained. It is just too farfected for me to believe that each and every individual consciousness is kept in tact through death, and is given a completely new life to explore afterward as it pursues some undefined standard of cosmic perfection.<br /><br />When you die, you are dead. There is no after life. It's game over. <br />But what you are <span style="font-weight: bold;">made</span> of returns to the great Circle of Life.<br />(Que Lion King theme song here.)<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">------------------<br /></div><br />For reference, this is the book's information:<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Wicca - A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner</span><br />by Scott Cunningham<br />ISBN: 0-87542-118-0<br /><br />Just to remind myself, next time I should go over my atheistic point of view of Wicca. The whole Goddess and God thing.elizahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13868430816675532037noreply@blogger.com0